


Insomnia

by Kartzy



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Comfort, Domestic, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-26
Updated: 2017-09-26
Packaged: 2019-01-05 22:25:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12198612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kartzy/pseuds/Kartzy
Summary: Night seems too long and tiring to Seven .... more than that, scary...Pain and suffering .... tormented and haunted by the past life.....Everything should have changed now that he can stand on his own feet... But still.....





	Insomnia

“ **You are not needed by anyone . Stop existing for the sake of everyone.**  

**Get away from me. You will never be my son.**

**Are you going to leave me Saeyoung….? Who are you going to go to….? Your father…?**

**Dont leave mom…. if you leave, he won’t pay me… You are never leaving the home…!!**

**DON’T LEAVE ME HERE ALONE SAEYONG….. PLEASEEE… NO NOO…..!! ”**

 

‘Hmmm… No… Dont co….me… nea…  ME….!! ’ He woke up startled, loud and panting hard as tiny drops of sweat dropped from his forehead . Was it panic or relief that he felt , he didn’t know. 

It was still dark outside. The digital clock by his side showed 1.30 in neon light. 

_Damn…!! Did I wake her…?_

He gently reached his right hand towards the other side of the bed as he kept on watching the neon light blinking 1.30. If she was already sleeping, he didn’t want to wake her nor wanted her to know that he was awake due to his usual nightmare. Except she wasn’t there. The bed spread was removed partially and the side felt cold indicating she had been out of it for a while. Panic struck him even harder now with her absence. Quickly removing himself from the bed, he made his way out of the bedroom dragging the bedspread that he draped over his shoulders behind him. 

 

He wanted to call out to her but the thought Saeran sleeping in the nearby room prevented himself from doing it. He knew how hard it was for him to sleep peacefully, then he could only imagine how worse it was for Saeran. He had suffered more than what a 22 year old should go through.

Thoughts concerning Saeran and his future dominated his heart. Saeran should be entitled to all the happiness in the world, thats how he felt. 

 

Stepping without making any noise he searched the small house for his little brunette, his slice of happiness that he somehow achieved in the middle of all the chaos and confusion. She was what he called perfect. She was equally crazy, reckless and in love with him just as he was. He loved her stubbornness and the fact that she never let go of him despite how much he himself despised him.

A million thoughts were already actively running in his mind when he spotted her on the side verandah viewing the full moon. She had her hair tied in a side pony exposing her nape. Her guitar and notebook lay on her right hand side along with an empty mug. With her head thrown back and supporting herself with both her arms with her eyes fully closed, she seemed like a Casablanca Lily bud, basking under the moonlight before unleashing its complete beauty.

 

She completely captured him to his very core. The way she walked with no care whether in boots or converse instead of heels, the way she flung her arms wearing an oversized hoodie ,the way she always danced a little while walking, the way she played fabulous with a hair dryer each time she got a hair cut, the way her eyes became almost non-existent when she smiled to her fullest, the way she came out of her studio with pride written all over face along with splattered paint all over her after she finished a piece, the way she totally ignored the bed cover at night only to snuggle inside his arms or sometimes his shirt…. Well thinking about things he loved about her seemed as futile as counting stars, there were simply too many. He found himself trying hard not to smile over his own silliness as he continued to gaze upon her.

 

‘Saeyoung…..!! Are you stalking me now, you freak….?’ Oh, how he loved her talking silly with him. (Except, she really means it, most of the time).

‘Na…. Just watching you take the moon bath…. you look beautiful.’  The smile fully forming in his face .

 

‘So you WERE really staring…!! ’ She took the moment to sit back properly and turn to look at him properly. The moment she took a look at his Saeyong’s face her playful smirk was replaced with concern. ‘Tomato, did you have a nightmare again….?’

 

‘Huh….? ’ Saeyoung’s eyes widened with surprise. He clearly didn’t expect her to know about it. He was completely keeping himself in check so that he would not be find out about it, so that she wont be worried over him. Her knowing about this means , he had done a miserable job hiding it.

‘I… sa…. I’m so sorry… I didn’t…. mea-’

 

‘Come here , you cute little tomato…!!’ She said patting the seat beside her.

 

He nodded to her offer and gently went beside her. He was silent as he placed himself next to her. She gently placed her hands over his cheeks. Pulling him closer to her face, she examined his beautiful face under the moonlight. Even under the moonlight , the dark circles that formed under his eyes were quite evident, not to mention the redness of his eyes. His beautiful and playful face somewhat a mess as of now. With his lips dry, face looking tired, bags under his eyes , he appeared extremely exhausted. She too was no fool. She knew how he ate just chips and junk food, never slept properly and given the chance, he played around in computer more which is exactly why she took extra care in preparing nutritionally balanced food for him, dragged him to bed at night and even went to the extent of grounding him , two times. 

 

But still here he was, looking tired and drained. 

 

‘What are you doing to yourself Saeyoung…? ’ She asked with a gentle smile. She liked playing the strict-mom attitude with Saeran but Saeyoung , it was simply too hard. She knew he was playing strong for too long, when in real he was too delicate that he could break with one single push.

 

‘I’m… I .. don’t know…. I’m sorry if I’m disturbing you…. I couldn’t find you when I woke up, So I was just wondering where you went…. I will go back now. ’ He started to get up while her hand took hold of him again pulling him back beside her.

 

‘Who said you are disturbing….? What…? did you hack into my mind or what…? ’

 

‘I wish I could….!! ’ 

 

‘Oh really….? ’ She said playfully bumping her shoulders on his.

 

He chuckled softly at her. 

 

‘So…. ’ she started gently. ‘did you have another one of those nightmares again…?’

 

He nodded in utter silence while his train of thoughts took a full 180 degree turn from before.

_She … she knows…. she shouldn’t have… I was perfect in hiding it …wasn’t I…? Even Saeran didn’t know.. then how did she manage to find out… I’m already too damaged for her, there need not be anymore…!!  AM I THAT PATHETIC…? I WANT HER TO BE MINE BUT IN THIS RATE I FEEL MORE AND MORE UNWORTHY OF HER…. NOONE WISHES FOR A BROKEN TOY…!!  AND I DONT WANNA BE THAT IN HER LIFE…. PLEASE… PLEASE… FORGET IT…!!_

 

‘Sae…. look at me …!! ’ Forcefully making him look at her . ‘Why are you trying to hide things from me….? Do you really trust me that little…? What is it that you fear…? ’

 

‘No… no… there’s nothing… Haha… Its just cause of the super scary movie that I saw a couple of days back…!! Yeahh….!! ’ _No… no… it will all be alright…!! She already worries too much … she doesn’t need to know this too….. What if she feels this is too much for her to handle….? Will she leave me too….? Would Saeran leave me too if he knows about this….? I’m afraid…so afraid… Now that I have got them all I’m too afraid that I might lose it all the next minute… I don’t wanna….. I just got them…. I don’t wanna be scared…. ‘_ So don’t worry at all, Come on lets go and sleep…!! _’ Somebody.. … please … Somebody make it stop… I just wanna sleep in peace… without the fear of losing …. at least one night…!!_

 

 _‘_ SAEYOUNG….!! _’_ She was firm and clear. ‘Look into my eyes…. now..!!  Now listen to this and register  it into that no good brain of yours….!! I AM NOT GOING ANYWHERE. Even if you push me away or avoid me , I’m staying here…. I know you love me…. and you better know that I love you too…. So even if you stop loving me one day, I will just keep on loving you because I know that in this moment when I’m telling this to you, your mind is filled with no one but me. That one knowledge that you love me more than anything in this world at this very moment is more than what I need to love you as long as I’m alive and even after that….!! ’ 

 

He felt a string of warmth moving down his cheeks and ending the chin. His hands seemed to have a curious mind of its own as it made its way to his face , touching the strange droplets that came out of his eyes. He had already lost control and he had no idea how to stop this strange phenomena that was happening to him….. _Tears….? No way…. I have never done it even when mama had beaten me and Saeran so much…. Never once in training…. Never…. I don’t cry… I’m.. I’m strong… I have to be strong… I’m the defender of Justice …I’m the one everyone should be depending up on … I… I…._

 

‘You know, you always don’t have to be strong…..!! Its okay to be afraid sometimes…. everyone is…!! I don’t know if I can be a hero like you…. but you know…. ’ She hugged him close, her lips close to his ears. ‘I could be your partner in crime .’ She whispered gently in his ears .

 

_I don’t….? I don’t have to be always strong…? …. Why didn’t I realise it sooner…..? Have I been taking her for granted…? Can’t be Hero…..? What the hell are you saying when you have already saved me innumerable times….? If thats not a hero, I don’t know what is….. But I guess I still will take up on the “partnership” offer…  Haha…. She already has planted herself in me so deep that uprooting her will be at the cost of my life…. How in the world am I ever going to stop loving you…? Even I myself have no idea if I have ever loved anything as much as you, or if I ever will…_

 

‘I….wanna be your partner in crime….. so stay by my side…. I… I..am so sorry that I hid things from you…. but I just didn’t want to worry you…. I keep having this dream and I don’t know what to do…. I just wanna be not afraid …. I wanna sleep and have dreams…. not nightmares… I really-’ Words flowed out like stormwater, he wanted her to know everything all the while forgetting even to breath. Finding proper words to express himself seemed difficult at this point. 

 

‘Shhh…. baby…. I understand….. I know everything…. ’ She hugged him even closer and tighter . ‘First breathe … baby…. yes….. ’ She rubbed his back as she felt his frantic breathing relaxing into somewhat normal against her chest. ‘Thats right…I’m here…. I will always be here….. No nightmare will hurt you anymore…. I will protect you , partner….!! ’

 

It took another good couple of minutes to completely calm him down. Even then Saeyoung was completely reluctant to leave her arms for another couple of minutes. Her arms seemed like  haven for him. In her arms, he felt a peace he could never achieve otherwise.

 

‘Are you alright now….? Have you calmed down…? ’ She asked while running her fingers through his red locks.

 

‘Hmm.. yeah…!! ’ He gently pulled back to look at her face after what felt like forever to him. He was greeted with her ever so gentle smile and beautiful dark eyes that seemed to see through his eyes, right into his mind.

 

‘Then…. ’ Her smile becoming something even more gentle. ‘Lets put you to bed …!! ’ She then gently tapped her lap.

 

He looked at her with a puzzled face. She had never offered a lap pillow before. Only when she gently tapped her lap again and eyed him to lie down was he sure that , that was what she meant.

 

As his lips curled into a soft smile at her cute gesture, he decided to do as she told . Moving a bit away from her as in to adjust the distance , he lay down placing his head on her lap. 

 

‘So here we go….!! ’ She had just her right hand over her Guitar while her left hand rested atop his hair. 

 

 

“Oh… Yeah…. I tell you somethin’ ….I think you’ll understand…. when I say that something”

“I want to hold your ha….and… I want to hold your hand…. I want to hold your haa…….nd”

 

 

‘Its not that gentle…. its more cheery….. that Beatles song…!!’ He chuckled while managing to say that.

 

‘Shut up…. I’m singing a cover…. ’ She pouted at him.

 

He laughed again seeing her cute anger and gently took her hand from his head and held it close to his heart with his fingers curled with hers.

 

‘Hmmm… now that the opening has served its purpose!! ’ Lightly laughing and then placing a gentle kiss on his forehead . ‘I will move on to the real deal….. close your eyes.’ And thats exactly what he did.

Her right hand moved gently over the strings of the guitar letting the beautiful sound to echo . She seemed calm and serene as she just sat there absorbing the sweet cry of the instrument. Her hand once again moved over the strings , playing a beautiful note effortlessly. At this point Saeyoung couldn’t help but open his eyes in sheer curiosity, cause for a fact he knew her left hand was not free, well it was curled up with his fingers and resting on his chest. His eyes widened even more when he realised that the music so beautifully and so perfectly executed was just due to the magic of her right hand.

 

‘I thought I told you to close your eyes…!! ’She said without even looking at his direction.

 

‘But… it was just …so…. did you just play that with just one hand…? but How…? ’

 

‘Well… I was very weak physically when I was a kid…you know…. N one day as I was lying on my bed with a cast on left hand for reasons forgotten and  I had this great urge to play guitar…. Only I didn’t know how…. So my mom asked Captain Billy One-Hand, my neighbour to help me…. He is the one who taught me how to play…. well he was a one handed player…. N having a cast on one hand just made it easier for me to learn his style better than learning with both hands…… N thats the end of the story….. now close your eyes….!! ’ 

 

She knew how curiosity got the better of him. She was aware that if she had opted not to tell him the story now , he would just keep at it until he finds the answer on his own. She didn’t want that now. Though it was fun sometimes leaving him to his imaginations about her, now was not the time. 

Her hands moved once again playing a soft note. It was something familiar, something so warm that calmed his heart in almost an instant.

 

“Hold ….me close and hold me fast … The magic spell you cast… This is la vie en rose _“_

 

He always thought of her voice like dark chocolate. It was not too sweet but not bitter either. It contained a great amount of purity and boldness to it. The way she sounded bold, demanding and intimidating with others and the way she sounded sweet, caring and cute when she was with him , both were parts of her that he loved just the way you love the bitterness and sweetness of the chocolate. 

 

But now her voice coupled with the music from the guitar was like Chocolate and milk, blending in perfectly creating something even better …even smoother…. something heavenly .

 

“When you kiss me, Heaven sighs…And though I close my eyes…I see ….la vie en rose ”

 

The whole surrounding quieted itself down , listening in on her beautiful Lullaby.

 

“When you press me to your heart….I'm in a world apart……….A world where roses bloom

And when you speak, Angels sing from above…Every day words,Seem to turn into love songs  
Give your heart and soul to me….And life will always be……….La vie en rose     ”

 

 

By the time the night once again became silent, she could make out the sound of his calm breathing from her lap. With slightly parted lips, ruffled hair falling into the face and his fingers firmly curled around hers, he fell into peaceful slumber. 

Nightmares don’t leave anyone that fast, but now somewhere inside him he knew he was not alone. Even in the pitch dark world he felt he was trapped in , she brought light , warmth. His heart and hands were not empty anymore. Inside his hands , he always found hers. She filled his mind and heart. 

_Wait for a little more while Saeyoung…. I’LL MAKE YOU COMPLETELY MINE…. and then you won’t even be able to have a nightmare…. Let your thoughts overflow with me as you do with mine… I will never ever let you feel lonely…. not as long as I live… I’ll be your home…. the place where you belong…._

 

_‘So return to me , Saeyoung…!’_

 

That indeed was the perfect way to wake up…!!

**Author's Note:**

> Something that I wrote while being drunk on emotional BG score....!!


End file.
